The Next Stewardess has Gone Away
Last year, there was an audition become stewardess. This audition was held by one famous flight coorporation in Indonesia. I knew this audition from newspaper. Because I had a dream to become stewardess, so I decided to join this audition.
The night before, I prepared all. I borrowed my best friend's skirt because i didn't have any skirt. After that I slept earlier than before to refresh my body. At the day, I woken up earlier because I must prepared myself very well. I had to use make up, woren skirt and used high heels. It was not my habit, so i was very difficult to walked when I used that. After all, me and my friend went to Novotel Surabaya because the audition was in there. On the way, I was very nervous because it was my first time to joined the audition.
When we arrived, I met some participant that more stylish and beautiful than me. And I was jealous by them. But my friend always supported me that I can do this and I become confidenced again . Directly, me and my friend went to inside the hotel. But it was very difficult for me to passed away the route because I used high heels. And my friend helped me to pass that way. Before I entered the room, me and other participants had to wait our turn. And I was very nervous again because I saw many participants more ready than me. I felt so embrassed when I thought that my outfit didn't well like the others. When was my turn, me and for about fifteen other participants went to one room in the second floor to followed the interview and some physical test. In there, the judge was command me to walk straight follow the line. After that, I had to turn around in front of the judge. And then the judge said, "You're able to be stewardess but I may say sorry that your shoulder to wide". "Do you like swimming" she asked me again. And I said, "Yes, I like swimming that ones of my hobbies". She replied, "Oh OK, that's good for your health but I'm so sorry that you can not continue the judging season, so let's please move to that room". And I dissapointed with that judgement. In that room my good mood has gone away. One young committe was in that room and ask me some questions abaout that flight coorporation and I answered his question with annoyed. After that he gave me some souvenirs and he let me to go out from that room. When I was out, I recently looked for my friend to took me to the home quickly because I was so sad. My dream to become stewardess has gone away forever, I thought then. But my friend still supported me.
It was my big lesson. This moment always remind me, when we wanted something we must work hard to get it become true.
I think your paragraph is great........
BalasHapusbut in your paragraph, u should use capital word for subject...
"so i decided to join this audition."
u can edit with
"so I decided to join this audition."
And more sentences can you edit for that
hi ranti..
BalasHapusyou did great, but there are some grammar mistakes.
i found some, like:
At the day, i woken up earlier because i must prepared myself very well.
-- V2 of wake is woke.
-- after modal -must-, it must be followed by V1
I had to used make up,
-- remember that after 'to' is always followed by V1
so far, it's great! i can understand your story's sequence :)
don't forget to visit mine ^^
by 120810185G
wildania
BalasHapushi rantiiii,.
your paragpg is good,but tgere are grammar mistakes,and but in your paragraph, u should use capital word for subject...
tee ...
BalasHapusi think your paragraph is good enough ..
but you should use simple past , to wrote your paragraph ..
because your story happened in the past ..
i think your paragraph is good enough, but i found some mistakes word especially about grammar..
BalasHapusbut it's ok, so far i can understand your writing..
I think that's interesting experience..
BalasHapusUr paragraphs are good, u exlpained it clearly...
but I've found some mistakes,,
ex: woken up-> woke up...
commented by (120810493)
hi, ranti..
BalasHapusThanks for comment my blog.
Your paragraph is good, that's interesting experience that you have.
Please check your grammar too.
Pratiwi Ramandita 120810487G
rudinal...
BalasHapusHi Putri Your Paragraph Is Good..........
And your WRiting is Very draw,,,,,,,,,,,,,
But Chechk again Your Grammar Ukai...........
Please reply my Coment..
Komentar ini telah dihapus oleh pengarang.
BalasHapusit's great story,..
BalasHapusyour writing is good,..
and order of course,.
elok 120810486G
Hy ranti....
BalasHapusI think your paragraph is good enough,But you must check again
Because I still look some mistakes in your grammar....
So be carefull!!!
That's all
Don't forget for giving your comment in my blog...
Thanks b4
By:Ria Anggraini.S
120810492G